Posts Tagged ‘partner’

Healing Relationship Wounds

If you are facing the difficult task of healing relationship wounds you’ll need to be wiling to really invest some time and effort. You can fix your relationship but it won’t necessarily be swift and easy, and you will not be able to do it all on your own.

There are many steps you’ll need to taketo fixyour broken relationship. A lot of what you’ll have to do will depend on what broke the relationship in the first place. It’s usually not just one or two things and it usually takes a long time and a buildup of many smaller issues that eventually tear down your relationship.

Finding the cause of the break down is the first thing you will need to do in order to come up with a ‘game plan’to mendit. You wouldn’t expect your mechanicto mendyour vehicle without first knowing what was wrong with it, would you? The same principle applies to your relationship.

Not only will you need to figure out what went wrong you will need to honestly figure out what part you played in it. That can be very hard for most people. No one wants to admit they’ve been wrong or made mistakes. But you can’t fix it until you know what’s broken, so you will have to honestly, maybe brutally honestly, evaluate the way you have behaved in the relationship and what things you have done, or said, that might have contributed to the break down.

And yes, what you have said can play just a huge a role in a broken relationship as what you’ve done. Never forget that words can wound and those wounds are often the hardest ones to heal.

Once you have figured out the mistakes you have made you’ll need to determine if you are wiling to invest the time neededto mendthem. If you can’t make a 100% commitment to changing your behavior than you might as well end the relationship right now. There’s no point in dragging you and your partner through further pain.

Another thing you’ll need to honestly Consideris whether or not your partner will be willing to work on the relationship too. No matter how sincere you are and motivated to make changes, it will take both of you working together to get things back to a good place. You cannot do it all alone, and neither can your partner. If you aren’t both committed to making it work, it’s also time to move on.

Something else you’ll needto take into account is that if you save your relationship it will neverabsolutely be ‘back the way it used to be’. That doesn’t mean it cannot still be good, it can. It just means that whatever the two of you have gone through has left some scars, those will always be there.

Keep these things in mind when you are healing relationship wounds. If your relationship is truly worth saving, and your partner is willing to meet you half way and work on it, you can fix the relationship and even make it betterthan it was before, it’ll just take some time…and lot’s of love.

Healing A Broken Relationship

Healing a broken relationship isn’t hopeless, but it will be a challenge. How much of a challenge will depend on many things.

One of the first things that’ll factor into how you should go about fixing your relationship is why the relationship is in trouble in the first place. Is your relationship broken because of infidelity? If so, was it you or your partner that cheated? This type of relationship can be fixed but it is the hardest thing to overcome and both partners have to be willing to work very hard tomake things right.

With infidelity it would seem like the partner who cheated would have to do all the work, but that is not really the case. The truth of the matter is that it will take just as much work for the person who was cheated on to try to overcome their fear of being injured again, their mistrust of their partner, as well as their anger and desire for revenge.

If your relationship has broken down more gradually over time, this might be aTiny easier to mend. Of course, it will still take time and work and you both will need to be 100% committed to working on it. Many relationships in this category die like a plant in a garden, from lack of nurturing. It’s not usually a large thing that ends it but rather a series of small, seemingly unimportant, things that’ll weaken the relationship to the point where it will break very easily.

This type of relationship will take an honest assessment of what each of you has done, or not done, to weaken the relationship. Once you’ve both admitted the part you have played in the breakdown of the relationship, at least to yourself, it’s time to sit down with your partner and honestly discuss what went wrong, what you think needs to be done to make it right, as well as what you personally are willing do to fixthe relationship.

This part of the process will be very difficult and will often lead to some horrendous fights. Why? Because this is the part where you will have to listen to your partner tell you why they aren’t happy with you. This will not be easy for you to hear. And the same goes for your partner when it’s your turn to talk. Very often one partner won’t be able to deal with what they perceive as criticism when their partner is trying to explain why they aren’t happy. Once that happens it will often end up in a screaming match and nothing will get accomplished.

This is the point where you, and your partner, will need to grow up. If neither one of you is able to calmly listen to your partner while they try to explain what has made them unhappy in the relationship you won’t have any chance at all of working things out.

Healing a broken relationship is not impossible, but it will take work. If you or your partner aren’t able to be mature and able to face your faults and be willing to work on changing them then you will have a much harder time of fixing your relationship.

Great Relationship Advice For Men

Men often wonder if they are speaking the same language as women because they can land in hot water very quickly. They look for relationship advice for men in order to avoid these situations but most relationship advice is written by women for other women.

There are some basic rules that men need to comprehend in order to increase their success rate with women.

The first one is you need to worry when your woman gives you the silent treatment. Most men go silent because they have nothing left to state but when a woman goes silent, it is generally a bit hint that you’ve upset her. Whilst you may think that silence is golden, women use not speaking as a punishment. So if your lady friend has a silent day, think back over your actions and try to determine what you have done to upset her.

Secondly, PMT isn’t always the reason for a woman being in a bad mood. Sometimes they are upset and injured over something and it has nothing to do with when their period is due. If you constantly blame PMT, you will probably find yourself searching the lonely hearts columns in the near future.

Women like to talk about their problems but this doesn’t mean that they want youto repair everything. Most females are quite capable of looking after themselves and they just want to let off steam. God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason. Just in case, it was so you could listen to what your partner is saying before you jump in with the solution. Do yourself a favor and believe that silence in this instance goes a long way.

When looking for relationship advice for men, they often look in the wrong places. It is not ideal to ask your partners father what her problem is. Firstly he is unlikely to comprehend her any more than you do but being the apple of his eye, he will wonder what you’ve done to upset her.

It helps to remember that your female partner and an elephant have something in common – their memory. Your partner will never forget anything so do not be surprised if she has a list a mile long of all the things you did wrong in the last six months.

Try talking to your partner. Tell her often how much you love and appreciate her and cuddle her without always expecting it to lead to sex. Like people of both sexes, women like to be held and appreciated without feeling they have to give you something in return.

Also if you’re worried about somethingTalk to your partner. Whilst she may be female, she’s not helpless and two heads are oftensuperior than one at solving a problem. In addition, if she knows what is bothering you she is lessapt to become emotionally distant having decided that you must be having an affair or are planning to leave her.

Life long partnerships take work on both sides but be careful what sources you use as relationship advice for men.

Evaluating Your Relationship With Your Partner – Before You Take

Evaluating Your Relationship With Your Partner – Before You Take Your Relationship To The Next Level

It doesn’t matter if you’ve been in a relationship for a while or if it’s brand new, most people will reach a point where they’re considering taking their relationship to the next level. The next level could mean anything from physical intimacy to a walk down the aisle. No matter what the next level is for you, now is the time to start evaluating your relationship with your partner.

While it may seem like this would be an simple thing to do it can actually be very difficult. There are a few reasons why achieving an honest evaluation can be a tough thing for people:

1) If you wait too long to honestly access the quality and strength of your relationship you may already be in too deep to be able to objectivelyexamine the weak points in your partner and your relationship.

Once you have fallen for that person you will see only what you want to see. Few people will still have the strength to honestly admit that there might be a problem. They will turn a blind eye and pretend that everything is great.

2) During the early days and most of the ‘dating phase’ of a relationship your partner, and you, can be very guarded and careful of what they let the other see. With some people it’s a deliberate attempt to hide their true colors with other’s it’s a more innocent “putting the ideal foot forward” type of thing.

Either way this tendency can make an honest evaluation very difficult.

One of the most important things you can do to try to have a secure and fulfilling relationship is to honestly evaluate the strength of your partner and the relationship early on.

It’s also important to take your time. Too many people ignore the warning signs because they just want to be with someoone so badly they are willing to be mis-treated just so they do not have to be alone.

If you really want a strong relationship make sure you are strong first. If you are happy with you and you’ve made a full life for yourself filled with people and activities that make you happy, then you won’t be so desperate for a relationship that you allow yourself to be mis-treated.

Honestly evaluating your relationship with your partner is something everyone should do, but few actually do. The earlier you do it the easier it will be to see things clearly as they really are and not just as you want them to be. That is the difference between a happy and loving relationship and an unhappy and potentiallly abusive relationship.

Do You Know The 3 Warning Signs Of A Breakup

Do You Know The 3 Warning Signs Of A Breakup

If you know the warning signs of a break up you will besuperior able to avoid splitting from your lover. All relationships are different but there are usually similar symptoms of trouble to look out for:

1) Your partner is ignoring you.

Now I dont mean that they are not speaking to you. Ignoring someone, is where you lose interest in that person and never ask them how they are, what they’re feeling or even where they were? If you’re like two ships that pass in the night, your love life may need a Littlework.

Stop to think why they could be ignoring you? Have you forgotten their birthday or some other special event? Have you been less than loving lately? Are they feeling neglected? People usually react over something they feel has happened. This could just be their perception but as they’re your lover and you should be trying to keep them happy, you need to understand their point of view.

So why not surprise them with a nice meal and sit them down and ask them what’s going on? Why are they grumpy, althoughI would probably phrase that question a Littlebetter! It could be that they’re preoccupied with a problem totallyoutside your relationship. Communication between couples is not always what it should be; so try talking. Who knows where it may lead?

2) Your partner doesnt want to see you or go out with you.

If your lover suddenly becomes unavailable and too busy to see you, the red warning light should go on. There is a reason why they are avoiding you and you need to find out what that is. Dont be a doormat or perhaps I should state bedmat. There is no excuse, for not facing your boyfriend or girlfriend, to find out why they think it is acceptable to behave like this. Whatever you do, do not ignore these signals or you could find yourself in receipt of a break up letter.

3) Your partner is distant in the bedroom

While sex is only a three letter word, it can causeBig problems. Just ask any couple who has been together a long time. Sometimes your family or lifes issues can get in the way of your lovemaking. It is also a well known fact, that the initial burst of animal attraction usually doesnt last, so not making love every night is quite normal. What isn’t normal is not being intimate for months on end. Couples are held together by shared emotions and feelings. So dont underestimate the power of a cuddle.

You should know when your partner is happy and when he or she isnt. Sometimes their mood will have nothing to do with your actions; but often it is an indication of trouble brewing. Pay attention and look out for the above warnings signs of a break up. Otherwise you could find yourself newly single and wondering what happened!

Does My Ex Want To Get Back With Me

Do you care? Asking yourself the question does my ex want to get back with me is the wrong way forward. The real question is do you want your ex back? If the answer to that is yes, then you canbegin worrying about what your previous partner wants.

A lot of people never understand why their relationship ended. I find it breathtaking that many people going through a divorce are unable to explain why they’re ending their marriage, especially when there are kids involved.

It takes two to break up a relationship despite the fact that it is very easy to blame the other person. Even when someone else has an affair, it is not always 100% their fault. Don’t get me wrong, I am not condoning anyone being unfaithful but sometimes people are pushed into things. If you take your man or woman for granted and forget to pay them any attention, they may end up looking somewhere else. Some people will have affairs just because they can get away with it. These people don’t belong in a monogamous relationship. But sometimes, a relationship is worth saving and the affair, whilst hurtful, can eventually strengthen the bonds between the couple.

Examining why a couple broke up will help both parties understand the issues in their relationship. It will highlight those areas that require work. All partnerships involve work and commitment. Men and women often appear to live on different planets never mind Speakother languages. My husband once stated to my Dad that he didnt understand me. My Dadsreply: that is where you’re going wrong son you Never try to understand a woman!

Whilst it is the sexual attraction that initially attracts men and women, it is their compatibility that’ll keep them together long after the sexual flame resembles a candle as opposed to a flame thrower. So before youbegin wondering how your ex partner is feeling, you need to be certain of your own wants and desires. Are you sure that this person is right for you? Do you see yourself spending the rest of your life with them? Do you want the same things out of life i.e. kids, traveling, similar standard of living etc? Do you share the same ideals and views about how to live your life?

It is very important to first establish if you would like to try again. Knowing what you want will help you to work out what your ex wants. Despite what Hollywood and other entertainment providers would have you believe, men want stable happy relationships just as much as women. Generally the male is not as good as vocalizing what he wants and can finish a relationship rather than have to deal with a bad patch.

So instead of wasting time trying to answer does my ex want to get back with me, why not invite him round for coffee and see what happens.

Cheaters – How Can I Save Our Relationship

If you’ve ever been in a relationship where you or your partner cheated, you may wonder how you can ever move on. The question is for cheaters how can I save our relationship? There are many things you can do to move your relationship forward after one person has been unfaithful, but you’ve to keep in mind that sometimes a relationship simply cannot be saved.

If both celebrations want to try to save the relationship and move on after an affair it will take a lot of time and maturity. It’s really toughto have faith in again after someone has taken your trust and thrown it away. Some people won’t be able to get over it and it will not only end their existing relationship but that lack of trust can follow them to relationship after relationship for the rest of their lives.

Because the injured you can cause another person could literally scar them for life it’s really important that you really think it through before you decide to cheat. After all, is a Littlefun on the side, or a swift ego boost really worth the pain you’ll be causing another human being? If you are so insecure that you think it’s worth it just so you can feelsuperior about yourself and more desirable you should probably not be in any relationship and spend some time in a therapists office.

One of the biggest things you will need to do to move your relationship forward after an affair is to have both parties be brutally honest about the initial breakdown of the relationship and their part in it. Blame for ruining a relationship is always shared by both parties, not always equally, but there are reasons the relationship fell apart to the point that someone thought they needed to have their needs satisfied by someone else.

Once you can honestly admit what went wrong you can solve the problem if you and your partner can communicate effectively. This means you have to avoid name calling, finger pointing, and accusations. If you can communicate in an adult fashion about the problems in your relationship and what you can doto mendthem you might be able to salvage your relationship.

The bottom line is that not all relationships should be saved. If you are involved with someone who has a long history of cheating you should just move on. They are obviously too concerned with their own selfish wants and needs, and they’ll never change. If, on the other hand, someone just gave into a moment of weakness you might be able to work together to save your relationship. So ask yourself: cheaters, how can I save our relationship?

Advice On Sex To Repair Your Relationship

Being in a bad relationship is a tough thing to do. Nothing is worse than being married and lonely at the same time. If you think the best way to save your relationship is to ‘spice up your sex life’ you may want to think again. Here is some advice on sexto mend your relationship.

First of all don’t buy into the old cliche that if you’ve great sex your partner will be satisfied and not leave. Unless your partner is an adolescent, or just acts like one, sex alone will not be enough to keep your relationship strong. A good adult relationship is made up of many components and until you can get it clicking on at least several levels, not just sexual, you’ll struggle and most likely won’t be happy in the relationship.

A word of caution though, no one is perfect and no relationship is perfect. You will have times when you and your partner are not on the same page, and that is ok. It’s more about balance, in your relationship as a whole you should be on the same page more often than not. If it’s balanced the other way, where you are at odds more often than you’re in sync you should seriously Considerending the relationship because the two of you just aren’t a good fit, and that’s unlikely to change.

So before you decide that hotter sex is the key to making your relationship what you really want it to be,Think about some of these points:

1. How was your relationship in the beginning? Did you have a lot of hobbies that you shared together? What did you do, besides sex, when you spent time together? If you don’t do those things together anymore, why not? If you analyzethese changes in your relationship you’ll be a lot closer to figuring out what you need to work on to make your relationship strong again.

2. Have you asked your partner what they think is going on with your relationship? After all you’re both part of the situation, and the problem. Why not share with each other what you’re feeling, instead of complaining to your girlfriends, or buddies, why not ask your partner? No one will know what they’re thinking betterthan they do.

Make sure that when you ask your partner what they’re thinking you give them the opportunity totell you how they feel in a ‘safe’ environment. What I mean by that is do not get mad and yell at them if they state something you do not want to hear. If you do then you’re sending them a signal that they can’t open up to you or it will get ugly, so they won’t turn to you. That is the beginning of the end for many relationships.

Once they have told you how they feel, it’s your turn. And the same rules apply. You have the right to express your feelings without being persecuted by your partner.

If you and your partner have reached a rough patch in your relationship it can be tempting to think that if you can reignite a fire in bed you’ll be able to save your relationship, unfortunately that’s simply not the case. Use the advice on sexto mend your relationship tips I’ve given you above tobegin to rebuild your relationship in a healthy way.

You Dont Want Divorce 3 Ways To Stop It

Things arent going well, but you dont want divorce to end your relationship. What can you do? If you dont want divorce there are three specific things you can do To stopit.

These tips wont work in every situationsome relationships are too far gone. But most relationshipsbegin having troubles long before they reach this point, thankfully.

When you dont want divorce but your partner does, try being quiet for a while.Just dont state anything. Stop complaining. The worst thing you can do is to carry on about how you dont want to get divorced.

You can let your partner know that you dont want the divorce. And thats about all you can do. Perhaps you could reassure them that couples go through this kind of thing all the time and are still together today. Just dont do it more than once.

If you carry on and carry on about how you want to stay together, youll probably just annoy your partner, making it less likely for him to be open to the idea of staying together. The whole point is to make yourself extra desirable to your partner again.

Its unlikely he or she finds you particularly desirable when youre complaining and whining about inconsequential things. That tendency to complain and even nag may have had something to do with why the relationship broke up in the first place, remember.

You want to show your very ideal side to your partner at all times. When you started dating this person, you were probably on your own very ideal behavior. Everyone does that to win a mates heart. Then as thingsbegin to stagnate a Littlebecause the mate is won and theres no need to compete with others anymore, the tendency to whine and complain begins.

Stop this immediately and go back to your very ideal going to win them courting behavior. That is often such a switch from the way things were in the beginning, that it seems almost too good to be true.

Going hand in hand with taking care not to complain or nag is learning to simply be agreeable. We tend to take our partner for allowed and when he or she suggestssomething were not happy with, we make it known. If we do that too often it canbegin to seem to our partner that they cant do or state anything right!

If you dont want divorce then learn to agree with your partner even when you dont want to. That might sound a Littleextreme, but youre in rescue mode right now. You just want to do everything you can to save the marriage. It doesnt mean that youll never be able to disagree with them for the rest of your life.

You need to learn to not whine, to concur and to do it all with a smile on your face. If you dont want divorce youll have to do these things for at least a Littlewhile.

When To End A Relationship

If youre wondering when to end a relationship, then youre faced with a hard decision. After youve invested time with another person, its never easy to state goodbye. This is true if youve been together 3 months, 3 years, or more. But sometimes learning when to end your relationship is the best thing you can do for both of you.

If you really love the person youre with, you might wonder when to end a relationship and why. You might think that just because you love him or her, you should stay and work things out. And very often it is worth a try.

Many people give up on their relationships before theyve really triedto mendthem. Because its difficult, they throw in the towel instead of working on their problems. This is unfortunate, because many people could probably be happy together if only they werent afraid to try.

And other people have problem after problem and keeping working hard when most people think they should just give up. Its as if these people are gluttons for punishment. Their partner keeps cheating on them and they keep taking him back. Or their partner keeps making other mistakes and letting them down.

It seems they dont know when to end a relationship. But usually its that theyre simply afraid of being alone and moving on.

There are obvious situations that should tell you when to end a relationship. If your partner is abusive, its time to get out, no excuses. If you dont feel safe, even down to feeling like youll have something to eat and be secure, then you should move on.

Other things are less sure. If your partner has cheated, for instance, does that always mean its time to leave? Some people can get past one mistake like that. They sometimes end up with a stronger relationship after the affair.

But more often they really never get past the betrayal. Even if it never happens again, the one who was cheated on cant let go of the hurt. And the one who cheated will eventually get fatigued of the suspicion and guilt.

If there has been cheating in your relationship, its not simple to decide if it should end. You should really talk about everything involved. From trust to fear of it happening again, it should all be put on the table in an honest discussion.

How about if you feel like cheating? If you’ve a really strong desire to be with someone else, should you end it? These types of feelings are natural. You can even have fantasies about other people. But if youre constantly thinking that youd be betterof with someone else, maybe you really would be.

If you love your partner and youve tried different ways of working it out, step back. How have you really tried? For how long? When to end a relationship isnt always simple to see, but if you know youve done everything and its still not working, it may be time to go.