Posts Tagged ‘huff’
How To Get Your Relationships Needs Met
If you can get your relationships needs met, the relationship has a betterchance of being long and happy. Not having your needs met is one of the biggest reasons relationships dont work out. And after a break up, its especially important to have your relationships needs met to stay happy and stay together.
The surefire way to get your needs met in a relationship is by making sure the other person knows just what those needs are. You cant read minds, and you shouldnt expert your partner to be able to read minds either. He or she wants to make sure your relationships needs are met, so tell them what they are.
At the same time, encourage your partner to tell you the needs he or she feels are important. You might be surprised to learn, if youve never had this conversation before, how different your needs might be.
You might feel the need for you partner to tell you he cares about you often, so may you do that for him. He no doubt enjoys that, but maybe what he really needs is for you to do quick considerate things to make him feel special. Some people like to be told, and some people like to be shown.
Simply having a discussion about your relationships needs can strengthen the relationship and make it easier for you to keep each other happy. If youre uncomfortable having such a frank discussion, you should do it anyway. Telling each other your needs issuperior than hinting or anticipating them to be psychic.
You may really need your partner to be more helpful to you. But when its time to clean or wash dishes you do them alone, yet again. And instead of simply asking for help or letting him know that it would mean a lot to you if he would do them sometimes or do them with you, you get angry.
You might huff around while youre doing them, slam a cabinet, or act otherwise put out. This is passive aggressive behavior. Youre trying to manipulate him into helping you by acting that way. Its muchsuperior and healthier to simply ask for help.
Passive aggressive behavioris generalin relationships, and its a worsening cycle because it doesnt work. If he does take your hint, its only after youve acted put upon, angry and resentful. So his doing the dishes might be only to keep you from acting that way.
If you ask for help and explain that it makes you feel good when he wants to help you, then hes coming at the task from a place of love and helpfulness. He doesnt feel guilted into doing it, so itssuperior for everyone.
This applies to things like showing affection, respecting each others feelings, and every aspect of your relationship. When you want something, ask for it, and be prepared to give your partner what he or she asks for to make sure all your relationships needs are met.
