Posts Tagged ‘honest communication’
Stages Of A Relationship Understanding Them Makes A Difference
Youre probably not thinking about the different stages of a relationship while youre with someone. And especially if the relationship is new or restarting after a breakup, its not likely on your mind. But if you understand the different stages of a relationship it can help you comprehend where you are and whats yet to come.
Of all the stages of a relationship, the first stage is probably the most exciting. This is the romance stage, the beginning. Theres dating and getting to know each other, and each of you is on your very ideal behavior because you want to woo the other person.
This stage is often called the honeymoon period, because everything is fresh and new. Everything the other person does probably seems wonderful. You laugh at his jokes, and dont mind the persons flaws. In fact, you may even find his flaws endearing. Just like anything new, it can be a great deal of fun and seem adventurous.
The next two stages are the make or break stages that many couples never make it through. They account for things like very short relationships and marriages. The second stage is commonly known as the power struggle stage.
This is when the newness starts to wear off, and usually starts somewhere between six months to a year after the relationships starts. Its during this time that thingsbegin to get serious. Everything isnt as adorable and endearing as it was in the beginning.
Each person in the relationship is trying to get his or her needs met, and theyre starting to notice where the other person falls short in doing that. If youre in this stage, take a step back. The things youre finding fault with in the other person are probably flaws that you have also.
If a couple can get through this stage, the relationship has a muchsuperior chance of lasting. Unfortunately, many couples try to change each other in the second stage. This leads to break-ups. Honest communication is the key to getting past it. Be understanding, and realize that you have shortcomings, too.
The third of the stages of a relationship is where you realize that you cant change the other person, and you stop trying. If you came to that realization by speaking with your partner and being understanding, then congratulations are in order!
This stage for you will be one of learning to be content with what the other has to offer and learning to take care of yourself. If the power struggle ended badly, then this is the stage where youreprone toend the relationship.
The next stage is that of commitment. You realized you couldnt change each other but you still made it work, and you know you want to be together. Now you can move on to a true partnership, which is the last stage.
Many couples bounce from stage 2 to 3 several times before moving on to commitment. By understanding the stages of a relationship, youre at least aware of whats happening and why.
My Boyfriend Dumped Me What To Do Next
If you’re thinking, “My boyfriend dumped me. Now what do I do?” you are not alone. Millions of people have been in the same position you are right now. Things do get better, whether you get back together with your boyfriend or not. But if you are despairing, “My boyfriend dumped me!” then you need to have a good cry and then get yourself together.
You probably want to win your boyfriend back. While there are no guarantees that you will be able to get back together, there are some things you can do that’ll help. The first thing is to realize that people get dumped every day for a number of different reasons. And the one you think caused your breakup might not be the real reason.
You have stop assuming and stop telling people, “My boyfriend dumped me because of, fill in the blank, if you’re not exactly sure that is why he dumped you. How do you know for sure why you were dumped? You have to ask, if you really want to know.
Be sure and only ask if you think you can take the truth, though. If asking could cause him to tell you something that you’ve suspected but have been in denial about, for instance, will it cause you more pain to find out than to not know? Maybe you should just let the past stay there, and work on the future, in that case.
But if you need to knowand you might if you really want to work things outthen you will have to ask. Try not arguing with the answer you get when you ask. Just accept that “my boyfriend dumped me because of ‘this,’” and move on.
The next step is to simply ask if he thinks there’s a chance. If the reason he broke up with you is something you believe you can fix, then you should make that clear to him. Let him know you’re willing to work on these things because you believe that you’ve something special and you want to make it work
It might really be hard to do these things. Being dumped hurts. But if you want to get back together and make your relationship work, then there has to be honest communication going on between you. And the worst thing that can happen is that things aren’t going to work out.
If that’s the case and there’s no chance of you getting back together despite any efforts you might put forth, then at least you made the effort and probably learned something about yourself.
Examine the reasons he broke up with you and you might decide that it’s not really a bad thing. Even if you know you’re better off, it feels crummy to get dumped. Be nice to yourself and treat yourself to a facial or a pedicure.
And try to remember that “My boyfriend dumped me!” is something that many others have had to deal with, and they made things work out, so you can too.
