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If you read any agony aunt columns you will often see a letter titled “should I get back together with my ex boyfriend”. The answer is always; “It depends!”.

It depends on your age, how long you were together, why you broke up and ultimately what both of you want.

What does age have to do with it? Some people met their first love in their early teens and become convinced that this is the only person in the world that matters. For some it works out really well and years later they’re celebrating their Golden Jubilee. But for most of us, our passionate youthful infatuations are not real love and we go on to meet our true soul mates. So if you are very young and have just split up with your first boyfriend, you should probably try dating some other boys first to see whether Mr Ex is in fact Mr Right as opposed to Mr Right now. If you’ve dated a load of men and this man is your best mate, then you should make every effort to get back together with him.

How long you were together will also play a part in whether you should make up or not. A couple who have been together a couple of weeks don’t know each other that well despite what they may think. The sexual attraction between couples in the early stages of a romance can often blind you to the fact that your partner is not a candidate for a lifelong happy relationship. Emotions run very high in the early days and you could find yourself splitting up on a weekly basis. If this is the case, it is often a sign that there’s no future for you at this point in time.

If you have been together for years, you may have split up because you’ve taken each other for granted. Couples drift apart as life gets in the way. You often find that you spend more quality time with your neighbors and friends than you do with your significant other. Illness, stress and financial worries can also play a part. If you have been together forever and have suddenly split up, then you should make every effort to sit down and discuss your relationship to see is it worth saving. Sometimes, sadly it isn’t but at least you’ll know that you have made every effort.

Why you broke up will partly determine whether you should get back together or not. If you and you ex boyfriend have split because of a silly misunderstanding then you should try getting back together. It is pointless letting your pride stop you from saying sorry if you acted childishly. If on the other hand you have split up due to lies, deceit, fraud or an affair, the decision to get back together is a lot more difficult.

Ultimately it depends on what both of you want. You cannot force someone else to love you even if you do resort to emotional blackmail. Saying I want to get back together with my ex boyfriend is easily achievable if he also wants this to happen.

If your goal is to get your ex wife back then you have to admit something that you may not want to. You may have to admit youre weak. Will you’ve to admit it to her? That depends on how she views you at the moment, how you have come across in the past and how she’ll view you in the future. The trick to get your ex wife back is to let her know that you’ve changed and that you are, can be, and will be the one that she wants.

Wanting to get your ex wife back is admitting that you’re weak. You are admitting that you need her and are incomplete with out here. You are admitting that you have to have her in order for life to make sense and/or work. Once you make the effort, she’s going to be figuring that out on her own. Just making the effort to get your ex wife back is proof of that. How did she view you prior to the break up? Did you divorce because you were seen as being weak? Hopefully that is not the case. If so, coming back and trying to reconcile after the divorce or break up may be seen as groveling back and may not be something that she wants to see from her man.

If, though, you were seen as being particularly hard headed and self-absorbed then you’re essentially saying that you were wrong. This is not a bad thing. When you show that you can admit that you were wrong shows that you are willing to admit that you’re human. Being wrong is weak but admitting it and trying to correct it takes immense strength. Letting down your guard and telling the her that you were wrong shows that you are serious about wanting to get your ex wife back. Even though its admitting that you are weak, it is showing that you are strong enough to deal with it.

When you’re trying to win your ex wife back, you have to know that you’re putting your future in someone elses hands. The results are far from certain. The truth is the damage may already be done and it has reached the point of no return. Does this mean that you shouldnt try? No. It does mean that everything that you do has to be above and beyond any reasonable doubt that she might have. This will mean being honest in not just admitting how wrong you may have been but honest in really trying to change.

If you go back to your ex wife and try to convince her that you’ve changed and that you are worth the risk, you have to be honest. If you arent and you arent willing to follow through on your commitment to be betterthing swill only fall apart again. If you’re going to go through with the effort to get your ex wife back, make sure that the change in you is real.