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Every marriage goes through ups and downs. A number of marriages also go through times of severe turmoil, such as deaths in the family, chronic illnesses, unfaithfulness, or national disasters. Some marriages hold strong during any ups and downs; others beginto crumble. For any marriage in crisis, however, marital counseling can help.

Each couples marriage is, of course, unique. Therefore, the way in which that couple deals with problems and issues will be unique. However,there are many signs which are common to all marriages–signs which point toward trouble brewing in the relationship. The earlier a couple begins to recognize the signs, the earlier the couple can beginmarriage counseling. And, the sooner the couple starts counseling, thesuperior the couples chances of saving their marriage.

Here are the common warning signs of a marriage that’s likely headed toward crisis:

The couple bickers, nags, and nitpicks a great deal.

The couple doesnt fight fairly.

The couple tends to spend a good deal of time apart, doing activities separately because that’s more fun than spending time together.

The couple doesnt talk about problems together. One member of the couple may be unaware of household issues or problems with the kids that the other couple member handles, for instance.

The couple no longer agrees on long-term goals and values, either for themselves or for the family as a whole.

The couple has a low level of intimacy–or none.

The couple doesnt speak much. The two members of the couple may be unaware of significant events or happenings at each others workplaces, for example.

Marriage counseling can help couples who are having any of the above issues. Counseling can also assist couples who are in crisis for other reasons. There is no reason for a couple to stay in an unhappy marriage; yet people who head straight for separation or divorce without trying to first make the marriage work through the use of marital counseling may be throwing in the towel without giving their marriage a fair chance.

Professional marriage counselors have experience in working with couples who have gone through all types of difficulties. Counselors can assist couples in dealing with infidelity, spending issues, problems with family and children, differences in faith, and much more.

Couples who attend marriage counseling learn the following:

How to resolve conflict through effective listening
How to Stateneeds clearly and openly without anger or resentment
How to get what is needed in the relationship without making demands
How to work through unresolved issues in the marriage
How to comprehend the needs of both members of the couple–and how to meet those needs

Marriage counseling works best if couples go as soon as they beginhaving problems in their marriage. A marriage in crisis can be helped with marital counseling; however, if a couple waits too long to seek counseling, their chances of saving their marriage may not be as great.

Is your marriage in crisis? Would you know it if it was? Do you recognize the warning signs? A marriage in crisis can sometimes disguise itself as a normal but slightly boring marriage until its too late to change it and save it.

You have to pay attention to all the signs of health in your marriage to make sure your partnership is going strong. First, look at how often you have sex. While sex isnt the whole point of the marriageits much more important than just thatits a crucial part of a healthy marriage.

A marriage in crisis is usually pretty simple to spot by looking at your sex lives. Do you have sex infrequently? Is it a big, scheduled deal when you do have sex? Have you stopped having sex spontaneously just when you feel like it?

When sex becomes a scheduled activity, a marriage can certainly recover. In fact, most marriages go through a phase very much like that when a baby is born. Each child makes it more and more difficult to find the time to spend with our partner over a meal or before leaving for work, let alone finding a spare hour to make love.

But a marriage in crisis never breaks out of that pattern. Instead, even when the time is there the partners dont have spontaneous sex. Usually theres veryTiny physical affection shown during the day either. People in love and happy to be together tend to hug and kiss different times through the day.

A loving couple will often touch each other just in passing. One will give the other a fast kiss on the cheek or forehead for no reason. Does this still happen in your marriage? Do you ever sneak a swift pinch or pat on the bottom or a sexy look in the middle of the day?

When these thingsbegin to disappear, it can be a sign that the marriage is in trouble. The other thing that goes in a very obvious wayis generalcourtesy. When you state thank you, excuse me, and please, throughout your day to strangers more than you state them to your partner, somethings wrong.

We take our partners for allowed in this way, and eventually this leads to a sort of coldness between people. There is simply no reason not to be affectionate and thank our partners (and state please) during the course of everyday life.

The good news is that if youre seeing these warning signs, you canbegin working right now to correct them. And you dont have to make a fanfare about it or announce the change. Simply change what you do.

Make a point of giving affection and unexpected kisses. Be very polite again, and state please and thank you, even when its just the two of you. Make time for making love. Do these things and your marriage in crisis could soon be back on track and you could be happier than ever.