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Posts Tagged ‘Brian’

Traci wanted to get guy back. She wasnt in a good position to do so however. She had accused her ex, Cory, of flirting with her best friend. Traci knew that Cory was just being friendly, but she was having a bad day and she took it out on Cory.

Now Traci is contrite and she wants to get guy back. Unfortunately, the guy doesnt want to be gotten back. He wants nothing further to do with Traci. Whats a girl to do?

First of all, Traci needs to apologize. This needs to be a sincere apology. If he doesnt want to listen to her, she should write a note.

There are three components to a genuine apology. First of all, there’s a recognition that what she did was wrong. Then, there is an introspection as to why she did it. Finally, there’s a commitment to not do it again.

For instance, Traci needs to state Brian, I was wrong to accuse you of flirting with Sandy. I was feeling insecure for a number of reasons that had nothing to do with you and I snapped. I realize that I injured you badly and Im sorry. In the future, I will be careful not to lash out at you when Im feeling crummy about myself.

Next, she needs to sit back and allow Brian to process what shes said. This may just take a few minutes or it could take days. If hes not initially receptive, she should not contact him until he contacts her. That means that she shouldnt call, email, or text him. She shouldnt engage him on social networks. She shouldnt send him gifts or letters.

She should also avoid having friends intercede for her. Having a friend contact Brian would be the same thing as Traci contacting him herself and there’s always the possibility that the friend could (deliberately or not) miscommunicate the message.

Instead, Traci should wait for Brian to contact her. He will, eventually, if only to get his stuff that she has back. This is Tracis opportunity tostrike.

She should keep things light. She shouldnt go overboard and tell him how much shes missed him or how sorry she’s about the situation.

Instead, she should bring up some of the positive experiences theyve shared. If that goes over well, she can talk about the Littlethings that shes missed such as his smile or the way he always holds the umbrella when it rains. Then, she shouldadvocate they meet for a not-date date such as a short get together at a coffee shop.

If he is agreeable to coffee, they can discuss more weighty matters. She can apologize again at that point and recommit to not making the same error again. At that point, she can state that she misses having him in her life and would like to get back together.

Traci has let Brian blow off any steam he had about the incident. She has also given him both time and reasons to want her back. At that point, she doesnt have to do much work to get guy back.

Ex Boyfriend To Get Back Together With – Get A Commitment

Jenny had a problem with her ex boyfriend. To get back together, she needed him to understand that she required real commitment.

Brian was an on again off again kind of man. He would get really serious with her for a while and then back off and state they should see other people. This had happened three times and Jenny was exhausted of saying Brian was her boyfriend and then her ex boyfriend. To get back together this time would require something more.

So, Jenny sat down and decided what she needed from Brian. She decided that she would pursue a two prong strategy.

First of all, she stated that they could get back together one more time. If he called things off after that, she would move on with her life. Brian had to be really serious this time.

But the second prong was just as important. Jenny realized that part of the problem was hers. She always pushed to intensify the relationship too soon. Brian would comply initially but then ask for more space after a couple of weeks.

So, Jenny decided that this time, Brian would set the pace for the relationship. She wouldnt pressure him to make commitments other than not seeing other women. Other than that fundamental principle, he would control the pace of the relationship.

When Jenny presented this solution to her ex boyfriend, to get back together with the understanding that he would control the pace, Brian was quite receptive.

Brian, like most men, needed to be the pursuer. When Jenny set the pace, she took away his capability to pursue her. He found that he felt both emasculated and suffocated at the same time.

So, Jenny stopped calling him. She let Brian call her. She stopped suggesting date ideas and let him set things up.

Jenny found that at first they didnt go out as often as she would have liked. And, their dates were less creative than they would have been had she planned them.

But, she also found that the time they spent together was more meaningful than it had been in the past. Brian no longer felt like he was a fish out of water when he was with her. And, he no longer needed to take breaks from her.

Jenny first needed to decide what she wanted. She knew she wanted Brian and she knew she wanted him full time.

But, she also needed to figure out what Brian wanted. He wanted to have space and he also wanted to be in control of the relationship. Despite being a modern woman, Jenny realized that this was important to Brian.

Suddenly, Brian was no longer an ex boyfriend. To get back with your ex, figure out what you want and what he needs. Then deliver.