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Saving a relationship might seem like a hopeless task for some women. They worry endlessly that their relationship is falling apart and no matter what they do, their partner seems to be pulling further and further away from them. In an effort to pull their relationship back together, many people try to talk to their partner to find out what is wrong or what could be changed, but unfortunately these tactics can sometimes end up driving your partner even further away.

There are some psychologically proven principles you can put to good use for you when you’re saving a relationship. Most relationships move through several phases as they progress. The initial phases of attraction are based on mutual enjoyment of each others company. Your intimacy levels are high and you both want to spend more and more time with each other.

The key to keeping any relationship at the same electrically charged emotional levels they were at when you first met is not what you’d expect. The key to saving a relationship is attraction.

Many womenstart trying toexamine every word their partner has said and the tone of his voice while he stated it, trying to find a meaning behind why he’s pulling away. They try to make sure they spend even more time with him, insist on knowing or finding out what he is doing when he’s not with you or even forcing himTo ceaseacting a certain way in an effort to make the relationship feel more stable.

In reality, these actions are driving you further apart instead of saving a relationship that was once great fun to be a part of. If you are serious about putting your relationship back on track and keeping it that way, then there are some things you’ll need to think about.

1. Back to the Beginning

Think about what aspect of you your partner fell in love with when you first met. Most men will state they fell in love with a woman who was fun, happy, bubbly, confident, independent and smart. Many women will state they fell in love with a happy, confident, funny, sensitive guy.

When you first met, you would have been working hard to make sure your partner enjoyed the time he spent in your company. As you became more familiar with each other, you felt secure that you did not need to work quite so hard. Ask yourself what’s changed about each of you since you first met.

2.Attraction

As mentioned before, the key to saving a relationship is attraction. When you are attracted to your partner and he is attracted to you, it’s natural you both want to spend more time in each other’s company. As you become more familiar with each other, the effort it takes to look good and behave in a fun manner falls away.

Attraction isn’t always physically based. Many people are attracted to confidence and independence. Think carefully about what attracted your partner to you originally. This is the key to making your partner fall in love with you all over again.

3.Communication

Effective communication when you’re working on saving a relationship doesn’t mean sitting down and talking over all the problems in the relationship for hours at a time. In fact, this could break your relationship even further apart.

You need to remember the type of conversations you had when you first met. Most frequently they would have been happy, light-hearted conversations that made you both feel good and made you both enjoy the time you spent together. It’s natural for any human on the planet to avoid situations that make them feel bad, so try to find ways to communicate that make you both remember how much you enjoy each other’s company.

Getting Back Together After A Long Time – Can It Work

So you are thinking of getting back together after a long time apart. Can it work? Well that depends really on how much you both want it to and what caused the breakup in the first place. You are moreapt to succeed if you have the backing of your friends and family.

Often we break up when we’re young, as we’re both immature and just do not know what we have; until we lose it. Other times we can kill off a relationship, because we relocate with our jobs or our families. Often the break up has nothing to do with the people involved just the timing or distance is wrong.

But sometimes there were specfic reasons why we broke up and if these reasons still exist, then you need to work out why you want to get back together. Absence can make the heart grow fonder but be aware that memories get distorted and you could be remembering events that didn’t quite happen that way. Experts call this the “rose coloured glasses” effect.

However, if you’re thinking of getting back together after a long time apart, there must be a physical and emotional attraction between the two of you. Physical attraction is great and this is what generally brings couples together initially. But unless it is accompanied or followed over time by an emotional connection, the physical stuff just isn’t enough to sustain a relationship.

Long term successful partnerships are based on mutual respect, love and commitment. If you miss out any of these three key ingredients your chances of spending your twilight years together diminish. I know that Hollywood films would have you believe that a great romance is based on lust and physical attraction. You can be easily fooled into thinking the man just has to sweep you off your feet and you’ll live happily ever after.

Unfortunately, real life isn’t like that and you will have certain trials to face as a couple. A couple who are deeply committed to each other, on every level, is much moreapt to survive the problems; real life throws at them.

Perhaps you two were together for a long time. Maybe you even had a family together before you split up. If this is the case, you need to be sure that you are getting back together for the right reasons and not because your kids want you to. Just as a couple should never stay with each other solely for the sake of their children, nor should they get romantically involved again for this reason.

Getting back together after a long time apart can be an exciting adventure. Just take things slowly and who knows, perhaps a marriage or remarriage may just be over the horizon.