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Being in a bad relationship is a tough thing to do. Nothing is worse than being married and lonely at the same time. If you think the best way to save your relationship is to ‘spice up your sex life’ you may want to think again. Here is some advice on sexto mend your relationship.

First of all don’t buy into the old cliche that if you’ve great sex your partner will be satisfied and not leave. Unless your partner is an adolescent, or just acts like one, sex alone will not be enough to keep your relationship strong. A good adult relationship is made up of many components and until you can get it clicking on at least several levels, not just sexual, you’ll struggle and most likely won’t be happy in the relationship.

A word of caution though, no one is perfect and no relationship is perfect. You will have times when you and your partner are not on the same page, and that is ok. It’s more about balance, in your relationship as a whole you should be on the same page more often than not. If it’s balanced the other way, where you are at odds more often than you’re in sync you should seriously Considerending the relationship because the two of you just aren’t a good fit, and that’s unlikely to change.

So before you decide that hotter sex is the key to making your relationship what you really want it to be,Think about some of these points:

1. How was your relationship in the beginning? Did you have a lot of hobbies that you shared together? What did you do, besides sex, when you spent time together? If you don’t do those things together anymore, why not? If you analyzethese changes in your relationship you’ll be a lot closer to figuring out what you need to work on to make your relationship strong again.

2. Have you asked your partner what they think is going on with your relationship? After all you’re both part of the situation, and the problem. Why not share with each other what you’re feeling, instead of complaining to your girlfriends, or buddies, why not ask your partner? No one will know what they’re thinking betterthan they do.

Make sure that when you ask your partner what they’re thinking you give them the opportunity totell you how they feel in a ‘safe’ environment. What I mean by that is do not get mad and yell at them if they state something you do not want to hear. If you do then you’re sending them a signal that they can’t open up to you or it will get ugly, so they won’t turn to you. That is the beginning of the end for many relationships.

Once they have told you how they feel, it’s your turn. And the same rules apply. You have the right to express your feelings without being persecuted by your partner.

If you and your partner have reached a rough patch in your relationship it can be tempting to think that if you can reignite a fire in bed you’ll be able to save your relationship, unfortunately that’s simply not the case. Use the advice on sexto mend your relationship tips I’ve given you above tobegin to rebuild your relationship in a healthy way.